Laughter is the best medicine . Humor is the important essence of life .
It is difficult to find a person
who does not enjoy a good moment?
These are some I received thro emails .
Send is your favourite humor to Sowmya & share with all of us.
A man is driving down a country road, when he spots a farmer standing in
the middle of a huge field of grass. He pulls the car over to the side of
the road and notices that the farmer is just standing there, doing nothing,
looking at nothing.
The man gets out of the car, walks all the way out to the farmer and asks
him, "Ah excuse me mister, but what are you doing?"
The farmer replies, "I'm trying to win a Nobel Prize."
"How?" asks the man, puzzled.
"Well I heard they give the Nobel Prize to people who are out standing in
their field
From Ramkrishnan
What is the difference between Gandhiji and Kunnakudi Vaidyanathan?
The one is a violionist and the other is a non-violinist
We can see vajpayee only in the evening why?
Because he is "PM"
Son : Daddy, have you ever been to Egypt?
Father : No. Why do you ask that?
Son : Well, where did you get mummy then?
Lady : Is this my train?
Station Master : No, it belongs to the Railway Company.
Lady : Don't try to be funny. I mean to ask if I can take this train
to Kuala Lumpur.
Station Master : No Madam, I'm afraid it's too heavy.
Peter : What a pair of strange socks you are wearing, one is green and
one is blue with red spots!
Kirk : Yes it's really strange. I've got another pair of the same at home.
Teacher : Peter, why are you late for school again?
Peter : Well, Miss, I dreamed that I was playing football and the game
went into extra time.
Wife : Do you want dinner?
Husband : Sure, what are my choices?
Wife : Yes and no.
First Guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!"
Second Guy : "You're lucky, mine's still alive."
The girl asked her lover, "Darling, if we get engaged will you give me a ring?"
"Sure," replied her lover "What's your phone number?"
A drunkard was brought to court. Just before the trial there was a
commotion in the gallery. The judge pounded the gravel on his table and
shouted, "Order, order."
The drunkard immediately responded, "Thank you, your honour, I'll have
a scotch and soda."
'For twenty years my husband and I were very happy'
'What happened then?'
'We met.'
Customer : 'If I post this letter tonight, will it get to Brighton in
two days'time?'
Post Master : 'Well it might do.'
Customer : I bet you, it won't.
Post Master : Why not?
Customer : It's addressed to London.
An absent-minded man went to see a psychiatrist.
'My trouble is,' he said, 'that I keep forgetting things.'
'How long has this been going on?' asked the psychiatrist.
'How long has what been going on?' said the man.
1st thief : Oh ! The police is here. Quick! Jump out of the window
2nd thief : But this is the 13th floor.
1st thief : Hurry! this is no time for superstitions.
Man : How old is your father ?
Boy : As old as me
Man : How can that be ?
Boy : He became a father only when I was born
Teacher : Correct the sentence, "A bull and a cow is grazing in the field"
Student : A cow and a bull is grazing in the field
Teacher : How ?
Student : Ladies first.
Waiter : I've stewed liver, boiled tongue and frog's leg.
Customer : Don't tell me your problems. Give me the menu card.
Sardar Gurbachan Singh is appearing for his University final
examination. He takes his seat in the examination hall, stares at the
question paper for five minutes, and then in a fit of inspiration
takes his shoes off and throws them out of the window. He then removes
his turban and throws it away as well. His shirt, pant, socks and
watch follow suit. The invigilator, alarmed, approaches him and asks
what is going on. "Oye, I am only following the instructions yaar," he
says,"it says here, 'Answer the following questions in brief'."
A sardar is traveling via train. On his way, he feels the urge to go
to the bathroom. So he goes and opens the bathroom door, which happens
to have a mirror in the front. The sardar thinks there is another
sardar sardar in there, quickly shuts the door and returns to his
seat. 5 minutes later he goes again, only to find the same sardar
sardar. An hour passes away, he's made 20 trips to the bathroom,
only to find that the same person is still there. So he finally gets
ticked off, goes to the last compartment and tells the TC (Ticket
Checker) what's been going on. The TC, which also happens to be a
sardar, feels bad for him and promises to throw the bum out. The TC
walks down to the compartment with the troubled bathroom to get the
resident sardar out. Few minutes later the TC comes back and tell
the sardar ""I'm sorry, I can't do anything. The guy in there is a
railway staff member"."
Having lost his donkey a Sardarji, got down to his knees and started
thanking God. A passerby saw him and asked, "Your donkey is missing;
what are you thanking God for ?" The sardarji replied ""I am thanking
Him for seeing to it that I wasn't riding the donkey at that time,
otherwise I would have been missing too.""
A sardarji was working as editor in a daily newspaper. Once he was
travelling to Bombay to deliver a speech about railway department
improvements. His coach was the last coach in the train. The train was
moving very fast and so sardarji's coach was jerking heavily. This
made him not to prepare for the speech. Annoyed by the event, next day
in the meeting, his first point towards improvement of railway
deparrtment was ""There should not be last coach in any train.""
Husband (returning late from work) : "Hi dear. I'm now logged in"
Wife : Have you brought the grocery ?
Husband : Bad command or file name
wife : But I told you in the morning ?
Husband : Erroneous syntax. Abort, retry, cancel
Wife : What about my new TV ?
Husband : Variable not found
Wife : Atleast, give me your credit card. I need to do some shopping
Husband : Sharing violation. Access denied
Wife : It was a great mistake that I married an idiot like
you
Husband : Data type mismatch
Wife : You are useless
Husband : By default
wife : What about your salary ?
Husband : File in use. Try after some time
Wife : Who was in the car this morning ?
Husband : System is unstable. Press ALT + CTRL + DEL to reboot
Wife : Are you going to have some wine
Husband : File system full
wife : What is the relation between you and your
receptionist?
Husband : only user with WRITE permission
Wife : What is my value in this family ?
Husband : Unknown virus
Wife : Do you love me or your computer or your being just funny?
Husband : Too many parameters
Smile:- A curve that can set a lot of
things straight.
Office:- A place where you can relax
after your strenuous home life.
Etc.:- A sign to make others believe
that you know more than you actually do.
Committee:- Individuals who can do
nothing individually and sit to decide
that nothing can be done together.
Experience:- The name men give to their mistakes.
Atom Bomb:- An invention to end all inventions.
Diplomat:- A person who tells you to go to hell in
such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.
Optimist:- A person who starts taking
bath if he accidentally falls into a river.
Pessimist:- A person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO,
instead of the first letter in word OPPORTUNITY .
Father:- A banker provided by nature.
Boss:- Someone who is early when you are late
and late when you are early.
Politician:- One who shakes your hand before elections
and your confidence after.
Doctor :- A person who kills your ills
by pills, and kills you with his bills.
In a Marathon race view, a sarsar ventures up to
ask the bystander as to why are the guys doing what they are doing
The bystander : A Marathon race is going on
Sardar : What do they get from that?
Bystander : The winner will get a prize
Sardar : Then why are the others running?!
The Sardarji Doctor to his patient: "It's very
important that you take this >medicine exactly 30 minutes before you feel the pain."
Santa singh and Banta singh are employed in a computer hardware store as
movers. One day both of them are asked to move some computers.
Santa Singh being energetic that day doesn't feel the computer
to be heavy at all. At the same time he sees that Banta Singh is
struggling very hard to lift his computer. At this
Santa Singh says " What Banta, my comp has 500 MB HD and
yours has just 250, even then u cannot lift it???"
At this Banta Singh thinks for a while and replies "Thats right, but my
HD is full and yours is empty"
A man was in his front yard mowing grass when his attractive
neighbor came out of the house and went straight to the mail
box.She opened it, then slammed it shut, and stormed back in the
house. A little later she came out of her house and again went to
the mail box and again opened it, then slammed it shut again.
Angrily, back into the house she went.
As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, here she came out
again, marched to the mail box, opened it and then slammed it
closed harder than ever. Puzzled by her actions the man asked
her, "Is something wrong?"
To which she replied, "There certainly is! My stupid computer
keeps giving me a message saying, "YOU'VE GOT MAIL!"
One day, Mr Singh gets a new born child. So he starts filling the
birth certificate. At the same time, a couple who are touring
India,met him and congratulated him on getting a son. Mr Singh is
very happy. The next day, the couple go to Delhi. There they find the
very same Singh writing the very same form. The puzzled couple
approached MrSingh and asked him " Mr Singh, yesterday, we saw you at
Mumbai filling the same certificate, but today you are here?" Mr
Singh replies "I came here because on the certificate it said:"WRITE
IN CAPITAL."
The doctor told Mr Singh that if he ran eight kilometres a day for
300 days, he would loose 34 kilos. At the end of 300 days, Mr Singh
called the doctor to report he had lost weight, but he had a
problem."What's the problem?" asked the doctor. "I'm 2400 km from
home".
There was an engineer, manager and programmer driving down a steep
mountain road.The brakes failed and the car careened down the road
out of control. Half way down the driver managed to stop the car by
running it against the embankment narrowing avoiding going over a
cliff.They all got out, shaken by their narrow escape from death, but
otherwise unharmed.
The manager said "To fix this problem we need to organize a
committee, have meetings, and through a process of continuous
improvement, develop a solution."The engineer said "No that would
take too long, and besides that method never worked before. I have my
trusty pen knife here and
will take apart the brake system, isolate the problem and correct it.
"The programmer said "I think your both wrong! I think we should all
push the car back up the hill and see if it happens again."
A couple was delighted when finally their long wait to adopt a baby
came to an end. The adoption center called and told them they had a
wonderful Japanese baby boy, and the couple took him without
hesitation. On the way home from the adoption center, they stopped by
the local college so they
each could enroll in night courses. After they filled out the form,
the registration clerk inquired, "What ever possessed you to study
Japanese?" The couple said proudly, "We just adopted a Japanese baby
and in a year or so he'll start to talk. We just want to be able to
understand him".
A surd ordered a pizza and the clerk asked if he should cut it in six
or twelve pieces.Said the surd: "Six, please. I could never eat
twelve pieces."
Once a Sardarji was travelling on a train. He felt sleepy so he gave
the guy sitting opposite him on the train 20 rupeesto wake him up
when the station arrived. This guy was a barber, and hefelt that for
20 rupees , the sardarji deserved more service. So, when the Sardarji
fell asleep, the barber quietly shaved off his beard. When the
station arrived, the Sardarji was woken up, and he went home.
Reaching home, he went to wash his face, and suddenly screamed when
he saw the mirror.Said his wife " What's the matter?" Replied he "The
cheat on the train has taken my 20 rupees and woken up someone else"
Banta Singh had just finished his English exam and was looking glum.
Santa asked him why he was looking so sad. Said Banta: "It was OK but
there was this question .. What is the past tense of THINK? I thought
. thought. thought ... and at last wrote THUNK!!!"
